Setbacks and the Dark Night of the Soul

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There are times on the spiritual path when we feel deeply connected, inspired, and absolutely certain that we are being guided. We may experience profound synchronicities, feelings of divine connection, or experiences that leave us with no doubt that there is something greater than the physical world.

And then there are other times!

We feel spiritually dry. We experience setbacks. Doors seem to close one after another. We begin questioning our purpose, our path, and perhaps even the spiritual truths we once felt so sure about.

These types of things are classic dark night of the soul experiences, and that is the focus of episode 631.

If you are going through a dark night of the soul right now, know that you are not alone. In fact, I believe these experiences are a normal part of spiritual living and can even become an important rite of passage on our path of awakening. I was in the midst of a minor one when I recorded this episode, and I hope my sharing will give you some comfort as you come up against your own.

What Is the Dark Night of the Soul?

The dark night of the soul is different for everyone. For some people, it may be a deeply intense and prolonged period of spiritual disconnection. For others, it may be more subtle. You may simply feel uninspired, uncertain, disconnected, or unable to access the same sense of connection to Source that you normally feel. You might find yourself questioning if you're on the right path, doing what you came here to do, making a difference, wondering why things feel difficult suddenly, wondering why door aren't opening when you take inspired action, and wondering if you're even being guided the way you thought you were. You may feel disconnected from God, Source, your higher self, your soul, or your spiritual guidance.

What is interesting is that the dark night of the soul can happen even after you've previously had profound spiritual experiences. You can have an experience that feels absolutely undeniable. You may have felt divine love move through you. You may have had a visitation or spiritual encounter. You may have experienced something that completely changed your understanding of life.

And still, at another point in your journey, doubt can return.

That is a fascinating and frustrating part of being human.

Setbacks Can Make Us Question Everything

Recently, I experienced a few setbacks in my own life and work. Nothing catastrophic, but certainly disappointing. There were things I had hoped would happen that did not come to fruition. There were opportunities that resulted in rejection. And even though I understood intellectually that rejection was always a possible (maybe even probable) outcome, it still stung.

Those experiences created space for doubt to creep in. I could feel myself asking whether what I was doing was worth my time. I found myself questioning whether I was on the highest path for myself and wondering if I should be doing something differently.

This is one of the challenges of setbacks when you're on a spiritual path. When things are flowing, it's easy to trust. When the doors are opening, the synchronicities are appearing, and everything seems to be aligning, it's easy to be confident that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

But what happens when the doors close? What happens when something you deeply hoped for doesn't happen? It can be tempting to interpret every setback as a sign that we are doing something wrong. But that is not always the case.

Does a Closed Door Mean It's Time to Pivot?

Setbacks and closed doors aren't always telling us one thing. Different messages can be true for different people experiencing the same setback. Even in your own experience, a setback at one point in your life might be trying to tell you something different than a similar one at a different point on your life path.

Sometimes a setback may be showing us that it is time to pivot. Perhaps a particular path was right for us during one season of life, but now something new is calling us forward. Maybe we have been moving in one direction for a long time, and now it is time to change course.

And sometimes the opposite is true. We might be meant to persevere. Doubt and resistance can appear precisely when we are being asked to continue moving forward.

There is no universal answer that applies to every situation. That's why it is so important to continue checking in with yourself. Keep listening and tuning in. Continue developing your relationship with your own inner guidance.

The spiritual path requires discernment. We can't always look outside of ourselves for someone else to tell us exactly what every setback means. Sometimes we have to sit with the questions and allow clarity to emerge.

Why Do We Focus More on Rejection Than Success?

One thing I noticed during my own setback was where my attention naturally kept trying to go.

During the same period when I experienced disappointments and rejection, I also received an exciting yes. Something worked out that I was really hoping would happen.

And yet, my attention was naturally being pulled toward the rejection and disappointment.

Despite this positive result, the setbacks kept rising to my attention.

This is something worth becoming aware of in our own lives. What are we focusing on? Where does our attention get pulled? What story are we continuing to tell ourselves?

We can become more conscious of where our thoughts are going. That doesn't mean pretending that disappointment doesn't hurt. It does. It doesn't mean bypassing difficult emotions or forcing ourselves to feel positive. We must mean recognize when we're repeatedly feeding our attention into thoughts and stories that are pulling us further away from the truth of who we are.

One of the things I remind myself of during periods of spiritual dryness is this: Feeling disconnected is not the same as being disconnected.

The truth is, we are always connected to Source, to God, to our soul, to our Higher Self. That connection does not turn off, even when we aren't perceiving it very strongly.

We may become caught up in disappointment, fear, doubt, or the circumstances around us. We may begin entertaining thoughts that are not aligned with the deeper truth we know. And eventually, those thoughts can begin to feel true simply because we are giving them so much of our attention.

This is where awareness becomes so important. Notice the thoughts you are latching onto. Notice the thoughts you are feeding. Notice where your attention is going.

We have more influence over our inner experience than we sometimes realize.

How to Reconnect During a Dark Night of the Soul

When you are going through a dark night of the soul, you may not feel inspired to do the very things that normally help you feel connected. You may not want to meditate or feel like going out into nature.

But in these times, it is important to take action in favor of how we want to feel, even before we actually feel that way.

Here are a few ways you can begin reconnecting.

1. Connect With Uplifting and Spiritual Content

Hearing another person's spiritual experience can help us remember our own truth. Stories of near-death experiences, mystical encounters, healing, transformation, and profound spiritual connection can reignite something within us. Sometimes we just need a reminder of something our soul already knows.

Pay attention to the books, podcasts, teachers, stories, and conversations that help reignite your inner fire. What helps you remember? Keep those things close when you are moving through a difficult season.

2. Spend Time in Nature

Nature can be one of the most powerful ways to reconnect. But I encourage you to truly be there. Take out your earbuds. Put your phone away. Step away from the constant stream of information and distraction. Let yourself be present in the natural world. Listen, observe, feel.

There is something profoundly grounding about allowing ourselves to simply exist in nature without "multitasking." Sometimes we need to step out of our normal routine and create enough space to hear ourselves again.

3. Take Time Away From Your Routine

When we are constantly moving through the same routines, obligations, and patterns, it can be difficult to gain perspective. If you can, give yourself some space. Spend time alone and take a break from the noise. Or spend time with someone who truly uplifts you. Sometimes changing our environment, even temporarily, can help us reconnect with a different part of ourselves.

4. Continue or Begin a Meditation Practice

Of course, I am always going to recommend meditation. Meditation is one of the most powerful tools we have for developing our connection with ourselves and with the spiritual reality that exists beyond the constant activity of the mind. During a dark night of the soul, meditation may not feel as rewarding as it normally does. You may sit down and think, "What's the point?" But I encourage you to keep showing up. You don't have to force a particular experience or even feel spiritual.

Just give yourself the opportunity to reconnect. Sometimes we have to go through the motions first, and then the internal shift follows.

Spiritual Awakening Is a Journey of Remembrance

The spiritual journey is ultimately a journey of remembrance. We are not becoming someone new. We are rememberingwho we have always been.

We are souls having a human experience. And a unique aspect of the human experience is forgetting. We become immersed in the physical world, our routines, our disappointments, our fears, and the stories we tell ourselves.

Then something can happen that helps us remember something truer than the illusion of the mainstream narrative. It could come through a meditation, conversation,  spiritual experience, time in nature, synchronicity,  story, deep sense of love.

Suddenly, something inside us awakens.

The dark night of the soul does not mean you have lost your connection forever. A setback does not necessarily mean you are on the wrong path. Doubt doesn't erase everything you have experienced. And spiritual dryness does not mean that Source has abandoned you.

Sometimes we simply need to remember.

Keep Moving in the Direction of What You Want to Feel

If you are going through a difficult spiritual season right now, be gentle with yourself. You don't have to have all the answers or understand why a particular setback happened. You do not have to force yourself to feel inspired when you are not.

But you can begin taking small steps toward the experience you want to have by meditating, going outside, engaging with uplifting material, being with someone who lifts you up, paying attention to your thoughts and choosing the helpful ones, and making sure to celebrate the yeses!

Most importantly, remember that you are still connected.

Even when you can't feel it or when you are questioning or the path ahead is unclear or doors are closing.

The spiritual journey is not about never experiencing doubt or darkness, but to continue to choose to keep going.

Continuing to remember and to reconnect with the truth of who you are.