531. People Pleasing & Upholding Boundaries | Your Energetic Balance Sheet | Winter Solstice & New Moon

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Kara: Hello and welcome to Soul Elevation Guiding Your Ascension to New Heights. I'm your host, Kara Goodwin, and we're recording this on. Friday, December 19th. Today is a pretty special day. Really. We are in the wi in the winter solstice window, unless you are in the southern hemisphere. And then of course it's the summer solstice for you and it's a new moon.

And this is the day that three I Atlas comes out from behind the sun, so it will be viewable again. And so there's a lot of. Been, there's been a lot of focus in anticipate and in anticipation for December 19th. So as I'm recording this, it's only 9:00 AM Eastern for me. [00:01:00] And you know, the day we've got a full day ahead, so it'll be interesting to see how things, you know, if there's anything.

Perceptible that happens today. Um, we also are in the winter solstice window. So the winter solstice will be Sunday in two days time. Um, but there's always kind of three days either side of the solstice, you're in that window, that energetic window. So I'm not gonna talk too much about this today because that's not the point of this podcast, but just for those who, especially if you're watching this live or shortly after it's been recorded, just be noticing within your world without expectation, but just noticing, being aware.

And feeling into how you feel energetically, the New Moon is also a good time to be reflective and intentional. It's a powerful time [00:02:00] to set an intention of how you want the next 28 days or so to go what you want your. What do you wanna create in that time? And interestingly, at this time of the year, at least for those of us who are in the winter solstice, it is naturally a time of kinda rest restoration.

Calmness. So you might find that you're in a bit of a void period where things are just stiller. You might not feel a ton of inspiration or motivation to be creating. So that's okay if that's what's happening. I feel like I'm kind of on a wind down. I'm not really actively trying to get a lot of things going right now, and I do notice the reflection of that personal feeling within me and what's happening in the.

The in nature, you know, it's a a time of dormancy. It's a time of rest. [00:03:00] So what I wanted to talk today about is talk about today is people pleasing, people pleasing. Having boundaries, and this is an important topic because you are an energetic being, so you have a human physical body, but primarily you.

The you. That is the witness, that is the observer. That is the creative force. Within that body is energy. And you are exchanging energy with your environment all the time. And by environment I, I mean, you know, the, the physical location that you're in, but also the people that you surround yourself with.

So whether that's colleagues, family, friends, um, you know, all of these interactions that [00:04:00] you're having. There's an energetic exchange, and when we are in a people pleasing mindset, we might be inclined to constantly be giving. And I'm reading a book right now that a beautiful friend of mine wrote, it's called Money is a Verb, and my and her background is in fi, excuse me, is in finance.

And she talks about not only money, but energy and emotions in terms of a balance sheet. That's one of the ways that she explains, um, your, your emotional in interactions in terms of a balance sheet and, and so you have. Your, uh, what you take in [00:05:00] minus what you give out and that equals your profit or loss or, or whatever.

But that, that equals, what is it your. Assets I should have looked at. I'm not a finance background, so she, she, uh, uses that terminology. But it really makes sense because if you're looking at things from a finance perspective, you have your, what you, what you bring in, the income you bring in, minus what you.

Uh, took out in order to invest in your business. So your expenses, your bills, the equipment, the software, the people, all of that is stuff that you're paying for. So you get what you take in monetarily, minus what you have put out, and then that equals what is left over your profit. But the same thing happens energetically.

And so if you are, you can think about [00:06:00] your relationships and your interactions in terms of what you're putting out, what you're getting back, and how that leaves you energetically. And if we are stuck in people pleasing, then we are constantly giving out. And that's not sustainable from an energy perspective.

You cannot keep how outputting without replenishment you are meant to be in balance. And when we are constantly giving out and we are not bringing anything back in that leads to disease. It leads to emotional imbalance. It leads to depletion. It leads to you living a life that you don't enjoy, and why are you here?

You are not here to [00:07:00] to, you know, shuffle your feet through a life of servitude without getting any replenishment. And so we wanna be mindful of this because it's an art. This is an art, this, uh, balancing our, uh, hey lorinda. Um, balancing our energy is an art. It is it, it's a dance. It's not a science.

Because of course there are plenty of people who are walking around this planet who are taking, they are just takers and they are looking for anybody who is gonna come in and. And just give to them. They're siphoning off of people and, and, and interesting experience that I, that comes to mind with me is, you know, as a podcast [00:08:00] host, I have a lot of people who wanna come on the show.

And I had somebody contact me who had been on the show previously and had a new project that they wanted to, um, promote. So they were like, Hey, I wanna come back on your show. I wanna promote my project and I wanna come on your next summit. And also, I'm looking for more podcasts to be on. So can you recommend some podcasts?

For me or some other things coming up next year that I can be a part of. And so I kind of got this email and it was this, the general vibe of it was like, Hey, how you doing? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. There was no reciprocation and it, there was nothing in there, no acknowledgement of. The, the energy that would be required to respond and [00:09:00] to fulfill all of the requests that had come, you know, as a, a one person team here.

Every time I have a guest on, I'm doing the prep, I'm doing the editing, I'm doing all of the artwork, all of the, um, show notes, which thank you chat GPT for. You know, it's so much easier now to do the show notes than it used to be because that is the one, that's one area that I will just let, uh, AI do. I am really not comfortable with handing a lot of things over to ai.

So if you get my newsletter or anything, that's always all me. But, um, but the show notes, I'm never sure if, if people really look at those. So I'm like, yeah, go ahead, chat. Um, but still, it takes time. Even though I'm using AI for that still takes time. So all of that is, it's all me. I don't have somebody who is, is doing that work for me.

[00:10:00] And so. Having, you know, every guest that I say yes to is a, an investment in my time. And when I put my summits together, you know, it's, that's more of my time. And there is, uh, yeah, lada, the show notes are just for us. IC Oh yes, that's right. Um, but also, you know, there are people whose job it is to. To go to podcasts on behalf of guests and to see their publicists, PR people whose job it is to connect people who wanna be guests with hosts.

I get these messages all the time and that's be, you know, they are compensated, they are doing that on behalf of a client and they're paid to do that. It was just a very interesting experience of receiving all of this, these requests, and you know, [00:11:00] why not ask, I guess, you know, but it was just interesting that there was no reciprocation offered.

There was no like, oh, and this person has a platform, so there was no like, oh, and I wanna feature your work. I wanna have you on. I want to, um, you know, they, they had had an event and, and that had speakers and had not asked me to be on that. So it was all a very, like, if I would have responded and gone forth with everything that was being asked of me, it would've been a big investment in time and energy with no.

Even acknowledgement of any reciprocity. So we wanna just think about, you know, are there places in your life where you know, are there friendships where you are constantly giving in the hopes that someday that person will be there for you and [00:12:00] think too. Give to you? Or is it very one-sided? Are you in a relationship like that?

Is that happening at work? I have another experience. Um, I remember when I was in the workforce, which I left the corporate world, um, more than 10 years ago, but I was listening this executive actually in the firm that I was in. Was talking the, it was a, I think it was a webinar for working mothers and she was, had gone part-time and so she didn't work.

Let's, I'm just gonna kind of make this up, but it's the same point. She worked, um, uh, I think she didn't work on Fridays, let's say, and. She was noticing that her coworkers kept scheduling meetings on Fridays, and she has, she had a family, she used that time to connect with her kids and she kept having these [00:13:00] meetings on Friday, and she was like, gosh, they know, but they just keep scheduling.

And then she realized. I keep going to these meetings. So I'm telling them in the very act of consenting to what they're doing, I'm telling them it's okay. I'm telling them that I don't prioritize my boundaries, so why should they? And that was an interesting experience for me because I also was part-time and um, and that really hit home.

And what she did when she realized that was, she started telling them, I can't meet with you on Friday, but if you can't wait until Monday, let's meet on Saturday. And that was a very interesting change because it got the other side thinking about, wait, do I wanna meet? Is this so important that I'm gonna meet on my day off?

I don't care if. They're gonna meet on [00:14:00] their day off, but I am going to, you know, I wanna protect my time off. So I think that that's a really interesting way to think about how sometimes we are giving so much and someone else is not willing to give the same. And it's not, we're not doing tit for tat.

This isn't about like making sure that you know, if you're gonna it one for one, and I've gotta make sure that. It's all fair and you know, we don't wanna get bogged down in the dete in the details, but it is important to understand your worth and where your boundaries are because you do deserve to be replenished and it is your responsibility.

To protect that and to honor that and to do what you can, to recognize where there is some si siphoning happening. And, and do, you know, you, you do have [00:15:00] more. You give, you have the power that you give yourself. So even, I like to use that example with the executive because that's our workplace and we can feel very powerless in our workplace until we decide that we're not.

And we stand up for ourselves because it's not up to our boss to stand up for us. It's, uh, it's up to us to understand our worth, our value, what it is that we've agreed to, and what we have not agreed to and to protect. That within ourselves. So, um, I'll Thank you so much. I'm just reading this comment here.

I just love you so much for your transparency and understanding of the truth. You've helped me so much with your show. Thank you so much. Thank you. Luminous comments. That really means so much. Thank you so much. Um, so. That was just what I wanna share today is just be mindful of your energy balance.

Lorenda [00:16:00] here. Energy exchange is so important. You know, this isn't, and it's, it is that energy. It is what we are giving and taking. It's not necessarily, you know, even about money compensation, this goes way beyond money compensation. Sometimes it might be monetary compensation. But not always. It's not always.

There are other ways that we can, you know, I am. I, I like to, um, in fact, Lorida and I were just doing this yesterday. I was on Lori's show and before we started it was like, you've gotta come on my show. And, you know, I have, she has been on my show too, but we were like, you gotta come on next, next, early, next year.

And that's an example, like when I, uh, am want, because I'll reach out to podcast hosts and I will, you know, I'd love to be on your show. But I tell them what I wanna do for them too, because I wanna post their video on my platform to help them, you know, if we've got two of us who are [00:17:00] promoting their, their, um, show, you know, that gets the people on my side who may not know about them, who you know, they're gonna enjoy their content.

So, yeah, I'm gonna put it on my website. I'm gonna put it on my featured appearances on my YouTube channel. I may mention it in my newsletter. So I come to them with, I'd love to be on your show and I wanna collaborate on Instagram. I wanna collaborate on YouTube, like let's work together. And I'm not saying to them, I'll pay you this amount, because that's not typically how podcasts work.

You don't, you, there's typically not a monetary exchange. So, um, at least from a, a guest and host perspective. So anyway, it doesn't have to, we're not, we're talking more than money here. Money might be a factor, but your energy is it, it is so important and you can. Be. You [00:18:00] are the guardian of it and you know you are worthy and people are gonna want your energy.

So just be mindful of it and be, you know, respect yourself. Keep those boundaries up for your highest good. Alright, so. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for those of you commenting in here. It's been such a joy and pleasure to be here with you. I wish you a beautiful winter solstice and a uh, and I send you many, many blessings.

Thank you so much. Bye.

Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Soul Elevation. If someone in your life would be inspired or uplifted by what you heard today, please take a moment to share it with them. These are the kinds of conversations that ripple out and elevate collective consciousness. And if you haven't yet, please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss the [00:19:00] powerful episodes ahead.

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